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Agender identities can have many meanings. It varies between different people. Sometimes it means no gender, or feeling a lack of connection to gender, while other times it may mean that the person feels ultimately neutral, between the 2 binary genders. Then another definition is that sometimes people feel their gender is something outside the binary, though there, is unknowable or hard to define.

Agender people can present and express their gender in many different ways, masculine, feminine, or androgynously as they feel fit. I spoke with several Agender people and asked them how they expressed their gender, and how it meant to them. They explained how their gender affects their expression.

Someone on Reddit called “ciniceasura” explained to me, they being Agender meant they were genderless, and followed up by explaining to me that “they don’t have a gender to express.” Which I assume means they dress however they want, regardless of gender. Another person under the username “NeoMahler” told me they feel outside of gender. Someone called “thebatmancuber” I found through an LGBT amino explained to me that it means that they don’t need to fit gender stereotypes. That they felt allowed to be whoever they wanted! All different and personal reasons for identifying in the way that they do. Being Agender for these people is what makes them comfortable, but as with any trans identity, it comes with its own dysphoria.

The batmancuber told me that they felt dysphoric about their chest, and their hair, which some, like myself can relate to. They told me that they preferred their short hair, or they felt too feminine. They also told me they didn’t strive for the typical androgynous idea that nonbinary people are usually cast as. They dress masculine, and feel comfortable in their gender identity, dressing that way. Neo told me that their gender dysphoria was mostly socially based, when people insinuated their masculinity or blatantly called them out as male.

Dysphoria is really different for everyone in the Nonbinary community, but I found that it is very similar to trans binary people. I myself came to figure out I was Nonbinary due to the gender dysphoria that I experience, and due to this, it prompted me to ask these people how they figured it out.

“I realized that gender didn’t really mean anything to me.” Cinceasura told me, “after years of not sympathizing with women or associating myself with them conceptually, I started settling on the idea that I just don’t have a gender or really believe in gender at all.” I liked that. They felt apathetic to gender, and that women were a different gender to their own, outside of gender.

When I talked to neo about being Agender, they explained to me that they had seen a documentary, which had triggered the questioning. “At first, I thought I was a girl, but that just didn’t feel right… Finally I googled ‘I’m not a boy, I’m not a girl’ and stumbled upon Nonbinary identities.” They told me that they felt most comfortable with the Agender label.

Another important question I felt compelled to ask, was “What do you want people to know about being Agender?” And I received great replies.

“We aren’t just ‘inventing’ it. We aren’t the first Nonbinary people in the world…” Neo then referenced the Hijra, an Indian Nonbinary identity, usually relating to trans feminine people, who were protectors, or the Bugi people from Indonesia who recognize 5 genders.

“We are valid.” batmancuber told me. They said that though it’s not typical or easy to understand, that they should be accepted. I couldn’t agree more.

Though we all see gender through a different lense, I believe that gender, or the lack of, can sometimes be a frustrating topic to figure out on your own. These people have all identified as Agender, anywhere from a few months, to several years, and all of them struggled or really thought about who they were. If you are questioning or think you may be Agender, then I urge you to take your time. I hope this resource and article have helped you. If you have further questions, feel free to email me at